My Narcissism Revealed

For awhile I've been wanting to write out the details of a day, and yesterday was a good one. We didn't go anywhere, & it wasn't too busy or rushed.

I did this for three reasons. One, what on earth do I do all day? I think it'll help me understand where my time goes so I can either better prioritize or encourage me that I'm doing what I'm supposed to. Or both. Two, I'm sure I'll want to look back at this once my kids are grown. I'm trying to document things now, to press pause and appreciate. Three, a few people will enjoy this (and yes, I realize, only a few! Feel free to skip or skim.), so I thought it'd be fun to post. So here goes my Monday, Oct. 6, 2009. Jackson 4, Harry, 2, and MC turned 3 months today:

6:00: Awakened by Mary Clement. She's had an unusually bad night, going down at 7:30, but awaking again at 12:30 and 4:30. And now at 6. I get her up and put her in the swing, determining not to feed her again until 7, as I'm trying to adjust her to a 7-7 feeding schedule.

6:00-7:00: Respond to emails, take shower, get dressed, poke around in my email and on blogs more.

7:00: Feed Mary Clement while beginning my Bible study lesson, which I need to have done for tonight.

7:15: Boys wake up. Jackson immediately wants to read The Solar System, a book I told him last night we'd read "tomorrow". I guess now's as good a time as any. It is indeed "tomorrow". Did you know that Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune are made of gas? Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, & Pluto are made of rock. I did not know that. Matthew teaches Jackson, "Boys go to Mars to get more candy bars" and I practically beg him not to teach the rest. This is hard for Matthew.

7:30-8:00: Breakfast & kitchen clean-up. Work w/J on counting to 100 with fridge poster, and with H on counting to 20.

8:00: Matthew catches bus to school.

8 - 8:30: Sweep & mop floor, rearrange kitchen. Last night Matthew finished staining our kitchen table. It had a burn spot on it (from a tipped-over candle last fall) that took weeks to repair. It was sanded down to bare wood, stained 4 times, then redone again b/c of the streaks on the last stain. Thank you, Clint, for the electric sander! It still needs a coat of polyurethane, but I'm so anxious to get rid of the card table that's taking over our kitchen. And Bible Study is coming over tonight. The boys dance in the living room to an Agapeland CD. They're shrouded with winter hats, scarves & gloves I've just pulled out. Harry keeps running in saying, "I'm so funny!" Jackson asks to mop & works on our bedroom.

8:30: Make fudge w/ boys when I realize I should bring a treat when returning the card table we'd borrowed for 3 weeks.

8:45 - 9:45: Read Joseph and His Magnificent Coat of Many Colors when I realize we'd not done Bible reading at breakfast. Wish I had tons of Amazon money to buy all the home school materials I want, so I go to a blog that gives these away and enter a contest. Then install the Blingo toolbar (a web search engine that gives prizes). Realize I'm wasting my time. But maybe I'll win!

9:45 - 10:45: Do Memory Work w/ J&H (Harry - ABCs, planets; Jackson - Psalm 139 review, planets, the Lord's Prayer). Workshop making a CD of memory work. Decide to remind Matthew to record U.S. Presidents and Books of the Bible Song. Also nurse MC. Read King Arthur: The Sword in the Stone to the boys.

10:45 - 11:30: Make a loaf of bread in defunct bread machine to check one last time to see if it's truly broken. For some strange reason, this time the machine makes a great loaf. Boys do watercolors. Harry paints his face instead of the paper. Jackson tells me, "I want to send this to God." I explain how God is everywhere and He can see the painted picture, and one way to "send it to God" is to send it to someone, because we love God by loving others. His eyes glaze over.

11:30 - Jackson seems really tired, so I decide on early naps today. Make lunch of apples/cheese for boys and leftover French Onion soup for myself. They spy neighborhood kids, so I send them outside to eat. Jackson comes back in b/c neighbor mom threatens to eat his food. I tell him she was joking, but he doesn't believe it. Harry trails behind and they eat in the kitchen while I cut the cooled fudge, making a plate for Bible study and one for my neighbor. Oh, and a "when I need it" stash for myself in the freezer. Because, you know, you eat less if it's in the freezer. Ha.

12-12:30: Boys play with neighborhood kids while I chat with their moms. MC asleep in house.

12:30: Put both boys down for naps. MC still asleep. Pour myself some coffee and eat a piece of fudge. Sit down to continue work on Bible Study.

12:45: Lay down on couch. Doze a little.

1:00: Harry keeps calling "Mama, Mama!" I put a pillow over my head. He does it long enough that I get annoyed and go see what he needs. He has to go to the bathroom. I tell him to hold it and go to sleep.

1:07: After lying down again and writing this blog post in my head (you know, to my "cosmic audience"), I decide to get up and write it down. Very, very sleepy.

1:30: MC awakens. Wonder why I did the blog post when I have so much computer work to do & need to make dinner. Memories, right? For the bigger picture. Are you glad, Ruthie of 20 years from now? Oh, wait. MC went back to sleep. Make myself go work on Bible Study again.

1:45: Only finish about half a page when Jackson comes in. "I'm really, really hungry." Make him a pb/honey sandwich. He tells me of two "poems" a neighbor friend read him the other day. "Tomorrow's the fair. I'll be there, stuffing my guts with gingerbread nuts" and "There was two ghosteses sitting on two posteses, eating bread and toasteses." Just now hearing these. Also tells me he met Ayrah's grandparents this morning. Clean kitchen and scrub potatoes, prepare salad for dinner.

2:15 - 3:00: Have J read aloud to me while I nurse MC. Her cute little feet stick out into the book. We have to keep moving them aside to read the words. His reading aloud is a practice in patience for me. I say over and over, "The e is silent, but makes the a say its letter name", and he has a few required jumping sessions. Everything distracts him (a cloud in the illustration - "Those planets are made of gas! It's like standing on a cloud!" & looking at MC's dress, "What's the name of that fruit? A pineapple. Now back to reading." & "What's that number? Page 175. Is that 176? Yes. Now back to reading.")

3:00 Jackson goes off to meet his friend Jacob at the bus. 3:00 is the highlight of his day. He returns to report that Jacob is home, but snacking inside. We deliver the fudge and card table to neighbors (thanks, Kristin!). Get cup for Jackson to drown ants. Call my grandparents about visiting them on Friday.

3:30-3:45 Put MC down for nap. Get back to Bible study and finish it this time.

3:45 - 6:00 Wake up Harry so he'll sleep tonight. Didn't write down in the moment, so I only remember the following - while he and Jackson play outside, I unload the rest of the groceries from the car, reorder laundry room, finish dinner while talking on the phone, talk to neighbors, talk to M when he transitions his studies to home, nurse, read Reviving Ophelia, email, etc.

6:00: Dinner. Pork loin w/ mango chutney (thanks, Mama!), baked potatoes, salad.

6:30: M gets boys ready for bed while I clean up kitchen, vacuum, prepare snacks.

7:00: Boys in bed, ladies arrive to study Galatians, 9 total; nurse MC while I chat.

7:15: MC in bed. Cries on and off until I get her at 8, settle her, and put her back down for the night. It's no fun hearing your little girl cry in the first place, & even worse when other women can hear it too. Oh well. We're discussing our tendency to "hide" & I figure this is good practice in openness.

9:15: Ladies leave; show off my new coat to Betsy and we walk her things back to her apt. Back home, Matthew, Chuck (who's come to graze on leftover snacks), and I chat about Matthew's teaching class while I clean up.

9:30 - 10:00: Matthew and I eat leftover salad and watch The Office on Hulu. We discuss how hard it is for Harry and me to share our food. The other day Matthew absent-mindedly ate a bite of Harry's sandwich and he burst into tears.

10:00 - 11:45: Matthew leaves to pick up a friend at the airport. I finish this post, start dishwasher, email, talk to the friend whose husband Matthew is picking up, and head to bed.

11:45: MC wakes up again, but I decide to let her cry to avoid another night like last night. Matthew lets me go to sleep, and she cries for 20 min. before returning to sleep until 6:30.

Writing this out has made me realize again what a blessed woman I am. I'm able to stay home with my children, have a great community of neighbors, church, & family. I'm sure other times will come with suffering, but this is peaceful, and I'm thankful.